May 2013
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rocketpowers:
there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone
just let that sink in
jesussbabymomma:
DOES ANYONE ELSE MAKE SCENARIOS IN THEIR HEAD OF THEM DATING SOMEONE AND HAVING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP AND DOING CUTE COUPLE THINGS WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE ME 24/7
orlandobloomers:
wanna know how punk i am??????
*punches a wall*
drive me to the hospital
psilentasincjelli:
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
teenwhoops:
i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
my type of guy is the famous unreachable type
ostracizedpoodle:
am i the only one who doesn’t have a tumblr
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queen-dandelion:
there should be like a strip club only with hot dads in good shoes with their legs propped up on tables sipping coffee and staring at you over the tops of their glasses when you walk in
goddamn i would lose so much money
1 tag
8-hours reblogged your photoset
por qué yo era cvita??? D:
me parece que era en la época de laurita, que vos le dabas a todos, o con algo asi jodiamos, no me acuerdo D:
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selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
pearls:
pearls:
i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun
sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard
lameborghini:
life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house
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z1c:
being 20+ on tumblr
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redunderwear:
honestly the yahoo buying tumblr thing is a win-win for me because either nothing changes and thats fine or everything changes and it actually motivates me to leave this emotionally and mentally toxic nightmare of a website
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freddybenson:
i cant believe burger king bought tumblr
slenclerman:
reasons to date me: -i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes -ive never killed a man (yet) -i once got 95% on guitar hero -you can play with my hair -im cheaper than a puppy
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aesthetic-dissonance:
sagihairius:
My mom just informed me that my first word was “quote” so I’m going to make sure my last word before I die will be “unquote”
you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity
shessosumptuous:
So homosexuality is a sin but high heeled sneakers aren’t
yugoslavic:
i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog
newpope:
newpope:
newpope:
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
cnnbreaking:
when you are so desperate you go to the second page of google results
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purefigs:
when you have unlimited texting but only text two people.
idontneedsavin:
yall make gifs from live tv faster than i can get off my couch
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shedisenchants:
shedisenchants:
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
